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  • When You Thought I Left

    When You Thought I Left

    My little brother was a late bloomer when it came to sports like golf for which in case you also wan to try, get some gear at pclubgolf.com. In high school he actually became quite athletic but when he was eight-years-old he was pretty small for his age and would rather play with his gargoyle action figures than play any sport.


    This was much to the dismay of my dad who loves sports and had big dreams for his firstborn son. You can imagine he was pretty excited when Spencer said he would like to play midget football. Meanwhile, for sports fans out there who are eager to bet on their players, they can head out to sites like 먹튀.


    He registered Spencer and they went to his first practice. Bless Spence’s heart, he couldn’t even do a jumping jack correctly during warm-ups and the practice just went downhill from there. Less than halfway through this season-opening practice, Spencer came over to my dad during a water break and told him that he just didn’t feel like football was for him.


    “Let’s go to Sonic and get some milkshakes,” Spencer remembers telling my dad.


    My dad told Spencer that he wasn’t going to let him quit and that he needed to run back onto the field. “My dad told Spencer that he wasn’t going to let him quit” My brother repeated his argument for why he didn’t want to play football anymore and then again suggested they stop wasting their time and go to Sonic for milkshakes.


    To make it very clear to my brother that he was not going to let him give up, my dad climbed into his car and began to drive away with Spencer still begging him to let him in the car. My brother said that in that moment he thought my dad was being completely insensitive and he couldn’t believe that his own dad would leave him there to suffer and embarrass himself.


    However, 11 years later, when Spencer was serving a mission in California, he began to appreciate what took place on that football field all those years before. He said that each time he felt like giving up he remembered that his dad had not raised him to be a quitter and it kept him going. He wrote to my dad and thanked him for leaving him there on the football field that day.


    My dad wrote him back and told him something he had never told him before.


    He told Spencer that he vividly remembered that day and how hard it was for him to say no to Spencer’s requests to leave. But then he told Spencer that while he did drive away, he didn’t actually leave Spencer there alone.


    He told him that when he thought my dad had left, he actually just drove over to the other side of the football field where Spencer couldn’t see him and he watched his little boy the rest of the practice. He made sure that he was okay and rooted silently for him.


    This story is typical of my dad. He is so good and so loving. “We’ll thank Him for not letting us quit.” But I think this also illustrates a powerful message about our Heavenly Father. We often go through hard things. We feel like quitting and we beg Heavenly Father to excuse us from our trials. But sometimes we feel like He gets in the car and drives away.


    I am a firm believer that He never actually leaves us on the field alone. He just goes to a spot where we can’t see him and he watches us as we fight through our trials. He roots for us and He makes sure that we’re okay. He does this because these experiences help us grow and he knows that farther down the road we will thank him. We’ll thank Him for not letting us quit and for loving us enough to let us go through these hard experiences, no matter how bad it hurt Him. We’ll thank Him for leaving us in the midst of our trial. And He’ll tell us that He never actually left.

    This article originally appeared on thefaithfriends.com and has been reposted with permission.

  • 28 Moments Singles Ward Girls Know All Too Well

    28 Moments Singles Ward Girls Know All Too Well

    Featured image via LDS Media Library.

    1. When you choose to go to the YSA ward and tell your home ward buds about it.

     

    2. When you’re 18 and fresh and walkin’ into your first singles ward sacrament meeting.

     

    3. When you get asked on a date by an RM for the first time and you’re all like:

     

    4. When there’s an attractive guy in the ward and you try to act natural.

     

    5. When a girl who is younger than you announces her engagement in Relief Society.

     

    6. When she tells the story of how he proposed.

     

    7. When somebody gets up to speak in sacrament meeting and starts introducing themselves.

     

    8. When 1:00 church gets out and you finally get to change out of your Sunday dress.

    42 Disney Reaction Gifs For Any Situation

    9. When you find out that the most attractive guy in the ward is dating someone.

     

    42 Disney Reaction Gifs For Any Situation

    10. When you decide to make a delicious Pinterest recipe to impress everybody at a linger longer.

    Expectation:

     

    Reality:

     

    11. When your home or visiting teachers introduce themselves but never come visit you.

     

    12. When you don’t even know who your home or visiting teachers are.

     

    13. When you’re at an Institute dance with your besties and your jam comes on.

    What you think you look like:

     

    What you really look like:

     

    14. When you somehow manage to both flirt like a normal person AND get a hot date out of a YSA activity.

     

    15. When you’re being driven home after a really great date.

     

    16. When you’re only halfway through what’s turning into a very bad date.

     

    17. When you or your friends get their mission calls.

     

    18. When people keep asking you if you’re ever going to serve a mission.

     

    19. When the stake creeper gets a crush on you and starts looking for you at activities.

    How you react:

     

    How you want to react:

     

    20. When someone gives another talk about how all of you young people need to date more.

     

    21. When you’re on the lesson about marriage and children in Relief Society and the teacher asks you to comment.

     

    22. When your longtime ward friend gets engaged and immediately goes on a matchmaking crusade:

     

    23. When you’ve been in the ward for a while and watched almost all of the young girls get married and leave.

     

    24. When you have occasional freak-outs because school, eternal marriage, adulthood.

     

    25. When you go back to visit the home ward, having forgotten that young children exist.

     

    26. When the home evening committee announces that the next activity will be a speed date.

     

    27. When you realize you’re the last of your friends left and may never go back to the family ward.

     

    28. When you realize you’re the last of your friends left and may never go back to the family ward.

     

    Have you had awkward/funny moments happen in the singles ward? Tell us about them in the comments and you may be featured in an upcoming article! 

  • A Letter to Dads in a World that Doesn’t Get Fatherhood

    A Letter to Dads in a World that Doesn’t Get Fatherhood

    Image via the LDS Media Library. 

    Dear dads,

    This one’s for you.

    The men who step through the door like clockwork at the end of every workday and try to slip out of work clothes while children climb over and clamor around you. The men who stay at home and hold children in your arms, change diapers, cook meals, and deserve all of the credit in the world for it. This one’s for the grandfathers, the godfathers, and the stepfathers, the men who’ve ever been fathers, acted as fathers, or wanted to be fathers.

    This one’s for you in a world that keeps throwing you under the bus.

    Society is pretty obsessed with all of the things that you men do wrong these days. You don’t understand anything, they say. Boys are stupid, men are babies, you’re privileged, you know nothing, and you’ve had your turn, they say. Within that society are thought leaders and women who shove you into a corner as if being a man means you have nothing valuable to contribute anymore. They ignore your problems, telling you others have had it worse. They look past your victories, telling you it’s time for someone else to have their share. They strip you of your respectability and your dignity. They don’t give credit to your manhood, something that isn’t defined by your ability to be tough, but by your character and your ability to be decent.

    Often, society demeans you by lumping you under the term ‘the patriarchy,’ which has come to be defined as a system where men control and subdue, a system that needs to be crushed and attacked. Interestingly, it’s a term that historically has meant family and father.

    Whether intentional or unintentional, this rhetoric makes you seem like brutes and bad guys, and I wonder if it affects how you feel about your fatherhood.

    Being a father is a tough job, and the world makes it look like a useless one. Daytime television seems dedicated to paternity tests and men who feel fatherhood is both a waste of their time and a burden no one wants. Nighttime television is dedicated to men who cheat, abandon their families, or remain in a state of perpetual, non-committal bliss. Love of children and loyalty are not often associated with the men the media feeds us, and strong father figures are few and far between. Even outside of the media, fathers are infantilized, considered incompetent, and not often given the same amount of credit we give mothers and wives.

    But you should know that you dads mean everything.

    You don’t have to be a perfect dad to be a good dad, and the lessons you teach most often come by example. Because of dads, we know what hard work means. Because of dads, we know the difference between The Beatles and The Monkees. Because of dads, we feel protected. Because of dads, thousands of us know how to drive (and lots of us know how not to drive). Because of dads, we know exactly what we did wrong and how we need to fix it. Because of dads, we know that problems don’t fix themselves. Because of dads, we know what tough love means. Being a dad is more than being a figurehead. Being a dad is being a part of one great whole, one that would be missing something enormous without you.

    The world is filled with bad dads, mediocre dads, and men who don’t want to be dads at all. To those men, I’d say this: if you think being a father is a lot of work, it’s because it is. If you think fatherhood changes the way you live your life, it’s because it does (and should). But if you think that fatherhood is a worthless job that doesn’t make a difference, it’s because you don’t really know what fatherhood is. You don’t know what it means to your family.

    Please don’t listen to the world when it attacks your importance and worth, when it tells you that fathers are unnecessary or that fatherhood is a joke. Don’t look at yourselves through the eyes of society, but through the eyes of your little girls and boys, your wives, and the people who love you. You might see a champion who can do nothing wrong. You might see a normal man who makes mistakes. But what you’ll definitely see is that being a dad matters.

    So this one’s for you dads.

    Thanks for doing the dirty work, but most of all, thanks for being ours.

    Love,
    Me

  • The Message You Might Have Missed in Johnny Lingo

    The Message You Might Have Missed in Johnny Lingo

    image © The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints

    Remember Johnny Lingo? I recall as a youth convincing our sunday school teacher to skip their lesson to let us watch it. I remember rooting for Mahana as she faced the villagers snarky remarks. I remember thinking how handsome Johnny Lingo looked in that toga. And who could forget when Mahana revealed herself at the end of the movie as the eight cow woman she truly was.  On the surface, it appears to be the tender story of a wealthy polynesian trader who boost’s his wife’s confidence by purchasing her hand in marriage for eight cows, instead of the typical three or four. That’s nice and all, but it never seemed quite enough for me; why did the church produce this movie? It seems like the butt of every church film joke. Is the message really as shallow as a person’s worth being what other people enumerate it to be?

    For years, I thought this was just a cute love story about self worth, but then I realized that this story is a great parable for Christ’s love. Let me set this up for you. Johnny arrives to Mahana’s door to discuss her dowery with her father, Moki. Moki doesn’t expect much from Johnny for his homely daughter but knows that he has great wealth. He asks Johnny for three cows for his daughter in the hopes he would settle for at least one. The interested villagers observing the negotiations burst into laughter, knowing it’s a ridiculously high price for such a skinny, ugly wife. Johnny silences the crowd and responds to Moki; “Three cows is many, but not enough for my Mahana! I will give eight cows for Mahana.” The villagers were stunned! Eight cows? No one had heard of such a high price for a wife! True to his word, Johnny brings the eight cows to Moki’s door and takes Mahana to wife. Later, the villagers are shocked to see the transformation of Mahana at the side of the great Johnny Lingo. She is beautiful, radiant, and always smiling. She is the perfect partner for the great trader. Johnny later remarks that he wanted a wife that knew she was worthwhile. He recognized the potential in Mahana but wanted her to recognize her own self worth.

    Wait a second. So he bought his wife for a super high price and that is what made her feel good about herself? I wouldn’t call myself a feminist but that’s a little much for me. Thankfully, the message isn’t that the worth of a woman is dependent upon what a man is willing to give for her.  I think the meaning goes deeper than even the filmmakers had intended.  Let’s say that Mahana represents each of us on the Earth. The villagers represent the narrow perspective of the world. Moki represents the natural man who brings us down and is focused on selfish things. Johnny can represent the Savior, who bought us with a high price to help us realize our potential.

    Our Savior loved us so much, that even in our ugly fallen state he was willing to purchase us for an unimaginable price. He did it so He could show us just how precious we are to Him. Johnny said, “I wanted Mahana to be more than happy; I wanted her to be an eight cow wife.” The Savior as well atoned for our sins so that we could obtain happiness in this life, but more than happiness, Jesus Christ wanted us to become heirs of the Kingdom of God. “Many things can happen to make a woman beautiful,” continues Johnny, “but the thing that matters most is what she thinks of herself.” In the same way many things can happen to help someone progress, but what matters most is that we each understand our own individual worth and divine potential. He wanted us to recognize our worth so we could realize that potential, and he did that by paying the highest price. Christ’s Atonement is the driving force of our progression, and if we didn’t have Him we would still be the “ugly”, obscure girl hiding out in that tree. It is Christ who can make us into the beautiful and happy spirits He wants us to be.

    I am so grateful that the church produced this movie because it really has brought me a better understanding of Christ’s love for me. So the next time you watch this short little story or hear someone comment on Johnny Lingo, I hope you can feel the love your Savior has for you. I hope you can remember His great Atonement, and the incredibly high price He paid for you, and I hope you feel like an eight cow person.

    If you want to watch Johnny Lingo it’s available for free on YouTube and on the Mormon Channel. Their version also has interesting facts about the film you may not have heard before.

  • 3 Tips to Support a Friend Whose Spouse is Leaving the Church

    3 Tips to Support a Friend Whose Spouse is Leaving the Church

    This is part two of a recent post entitled: “Deciding To Love: Making It Through Your Spouse’s Faith Transition”, from an anonymous contributor. Part 1 can be read here. The full article is available at athingcalledloveblog.com, and has been re-posted here with permission.

     

    “What if you and your spouse are doing great, but you have a friend whose spouse has left their shared faith? What’s the best way to respond?”

    Friends and family can be the greatest sources of either relief or pain in this kind of situation. With the recognition that other people may have totally different needs, these are some dos and don’ts based on my own personal experience:

    1. DO act as a sounding-board

     

    I have one close friend who has been incredibly helpful for me because she’s so pragmatic. When I was terrified to tell my family about my husband’s choice to leave the church, she let me practice the conversation with her and gave me tips on how to approach the topic. Let your friend talk it out.

    2. DON’T turn your friend into a tragedy

     

    It’s one thing to ask your friend how they’re doing. It’s another to only ever ask “How are you doing?” in a condescending voice. Be available to talk, but don’t assume that this faith crisis is the only thing your friend ever wants to talk about. Just because this happened doesn’t mean that they don’t have other wonderful things going on in their lives that they would rather discuss.

    3. DO be supportive of the spouse

     

    My husband didn’t leave the church because he was lazy or just wanted to sin or something. His reasons for leaving were complex and based in church experiences that were very different from my own. Based on his experiences, I understand his choice to leave. The process of leaving was something he agonized over for a long time, and ultimately, I respect him for the decision he made, even if I didn’t make the same decision. I know it may feel supportive to take your friend’s “side” by saying things like “Well, you didn’t sign up for this,” but to me, that is the most hurtful thing I can hear. I love and respect my husband, and when you say something that hurts him, it hurts me. If you want to help me, love him just like you did before. Be both of our friends. Don’t become weird.

  • Deciding To Love: Making It Through Your Spouse’s Faith Transition

    Deciding To Love: Making It Through Your Spouse’s Faith Transition

    The reality is that there aren’t a lot of easy answers. I don’t always know how my husband and I are going to handle it tomorrow or next year or ten years from now, so I don’t want to pretend that I have everything figured out, but what I can offer is a list of what seems to be working for us right here, right now. Because why stress out about ten years down the road if you can enjoy the person you love right this minute?

    Here are my not-so-magical suggestions for helping your marriage survive a faith transition:

    1. Make a decision about whether you still want to be married.

     

    Your situation has changed. Regardless of how many cheesy letters you wrote to yourself in Young Women’s about how your future husband was going to love the Church, he doesn’t. And that leaves you with a decision to make. Yes, maybe part of your love was built on a sense of shared faith. Yes, maybe you feel hurt or even betrayed that things changed, but guess what? You’re not married to that original person anymore. You’re married to the person you have here, now, in front of you.

    How does that make you feel?

    Back in the day when I was trying to decide if I should marry my husband, I went to my dad for advice. He asked me one very simple question: When I imagined myself married to him in 50 years, how did it make me feel? At the time, the thought of being with my now-husband filled me with all kinds of rainbow-and-unicorn feelings that are far too cheesy to put into print.

    When my spouse made the formal decision to resign from the church, my initial response was to ask God what I should do. Did I have to leave? Did I have to stay? Just tell me the answer, okay? Well, instead of getting an answer, I got another question: “Do you still want to be with him?”

    The man I’m married to today is very different from the man I married years ago, but at the end of the day, when I imagine myself in 50 years, I want him there. He’s the guy who does ridiculous, uncoordinated dances with me while we’re cooking. When I’m tired, he makes me laugh until I’m completely delirious and ready to pee my pants. When I’m sad, there’s that little spot right in the crook of his armpit that has always been my safe place. And so I made a decision, and once I actually made that decision, it made things a lot easier.

    If you want your marriage to survive a faith transition, you have to decide if you want to be married. You both have to decide if you want to be married. That’s the first, most important, step, and it makes everything else a little bit easier. If your marriage is beyond repair, learn how you can reach a divorce settlement aggreement from a family lawyer.

    2. Recognize that it’s going to be hard, and that’s okay.

     

    This isn’t easy for you, and it isn’t easy for your spouse, either. Even if you’re committed to your marriage, you’re both going to have days when things feel overwhelming and terrible, but try to remember that you’re both going through a process of grief. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your marriage is doomed. Tomorrow, you might feel better.

    3. Find new things to have in common.

     

    Being Mormon takes up a lot of time as a married couple. Not only do you spend three hours in church together, but then you also have the family home evenings and the ward parties and dinners with people in your ward, etc. etc. etc. Now that your spouse isn’t spending time doing churchy stuff with you, you might need to find other ways to bond as a couple. For example, back before winter ruined everything in the entire universe, my husband and I started going on Sunday nature walks/hikes/drives up in the mountains. Setting aside some time to do new activities together outside of church can also help you remember that you still genuinely like being around each other.

    4. Own your story.

     

    This one’s a little bit difficult. It can be almost embarrassing to admit that your spouse left church.You aren’t sure how people will respond, and you don’t want people to judge you or your spouse unfairly. I can’t tell you what’s right for you, but I can tell you that when I decided to just rip off the band-aid and tell my close family and friends what was going on, it lifted an immense burden off of me. You can’t control how people will respond, but sometimes being open and honest and unashamed feels much better than hiding and wallowing.

    So there you have it. Moral of the story: Decide to be in love. Make that decision every day, and you’ll at least make it to tomorrow.

    This post originally appeared on athingcalledloveblog.com and has been republished with permission.

  • 3 Things Every RM Cannot Afford to Misunderstand

    3 Things Every RM Cannot Afford to Misunderstand

    Photo Courtesy, LDS Media Library

    I’ll say it—stop

    It seems as if every returned missionary has the phrase “GIVE ME ADVICE” posted on their foreheads.  This is fine until we start receiving conflicting counsel, or we’re given guidance that we don’t necessarily want.  I mean, sometimes we’re given suggestions that are legitimately crazy.

    But, regardless of what we hear, there are three overarching principles that must be understood.  

    And, because I love you, I’m about to get real:  if we don’t figure the following three things out, we’re going to be absolutely miserable.  And, THERE JUST ISN’T ANYBODY THAT HAS TIME FOR THAT.

    But, if we allow these principles to become a part of us, we will feel whole, confident, and in control!  Which, you know, is pretty great.

    So, without further ado, here are the three things returned missionaries cannot afford to misunderstand:

    1.  You Are In Charge

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    2 Nephi 2:26 teaches that men and women are “to act for themselves and not to be acted upon.”

    Are you acting, or being acted upon?

    Often, we confine ourselves with the excuse of, “Well, I don’t act because I don’t know how to act!”

    But friends—we must change our mindset.

    Instead of thinking, “I don’t know, therefore I can’t do” we must think “I don’t know, therefore I will learn.”

    Here are some examples:

    Being acted upon Acting for yourself
    “I am so awkward.  I can’t get any girl to talk to me.  I’ll never get a girlfriend.” “I am so awkward.  Therefore:

    1.  I am going to pay close attention to how the people around me start up conversations.

    2.  Then, I’m going to practice starting conversations with my best friend, and ask him to give me feedback.

    3.  Also, I’m making a goal to talk to three news girls at this party on Friday.”
    “I don’t like Sunday School because the teacher is boring.” “I don’t like Sunday School because the teacher is boring.  So, this week:

    1.  I’m going to be an active participant and come to class with a question I’d really like answered.

    2.  I’m going to stop allowing the teacher to be the only provider of answers.

    3.  During the parts of the lesson that are dragging, I will search for answers on my own.

    4.  I will seek learning from the True Teacher, the Holy Ghost.”
    “I have no idea what I want to do with my life.  I’m going to go watch Netflix.” “I have no idea what I want to do with my life.  So:

    1.  I’m going to do a study of when I’ve felt most happy and fulfilled within the last year of my life.

    2.  I’m going to reach out to five people this week that I think might be able to help me to create a life that would have those happy moments daily.

    3.  Then, I’m going to set up an appointment with my school counselor to see what the education path looks like to help me get that profession/skill set.”

    Gosh dang it, we are in charge of our lives!  Being proactive in our choices gives us the opportunity to change anything about our circumstances.  We’ve done it before in the mission field, and we can do it again!

    Be intentional about the things you do.

    2.  Govern Your Life By The Bigger Picture

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    When taking charge of our lives, we must think beyond the next day, or even the next month, to allow the bigger picture to govern our choices.

    This requires that our vision expands from answering the question, “What do I want to do?” to “Who will I become?”

    Decisions that only answer the question, “What do I want to do?” will result in goals like, “I want to read The Book of Mormon everyday,” “I want to run twenty miles this week,” or “I want to get straight A’s this semester.”

    To Do List
    1.  Read The Book of Mormon every day.

    2.  Run 20 miles this week.

    3.  Get straight A’s this semester

     

     

    check list

    Unfortunately, what you end up with is a laundry list of tasks to complete.  And, though checking off those boxes may be initially satisfying, it ultimately results in a hollow feeling (and in reality, how long do these goals actually last?).

    Instead, if your decisions answer the question, “Who will I become?” goals like “I will be diligent,” or “I will be pure,” will surface.

    When these objectives (being diligent and pure) govern us, their associated actions become natural because they are fueled by reason!

    For example, we will stop reading The Book of Mormon just to read The Book of Mormon, and start reading The Book of Mormon to change into a more diligent and pure human being.

    Reading The Book of Mormon then becomes instinctual.  Our soul starts to crave and seek light.  We feel fulfilled because our decisions actually help us become who we actually want to become!

    If our daily actions are going to be meaningful, we must expand our vision from focusing on what we will do to who we will become.  

    3.  Stop Being Nice; Start Being Kind

    jesus2

    It is essential that we are kind.

    Now, it’s important to recognize that kindness and niceness are not the same.

    Did you know there was a difference?

    • Kind (adj.):  helpful
    • Nice (adj.):  pleasant or agreeable

    If we are being helpful, as the definition of kindness suggests, we are aiding people in living the doctrine of Christ:  having faith in Him, repenting, making and keeping covenants with God, receiving the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.  (Sound familiar?  See Preach My Gospel page 1.)

    When we are truly kind, or helpful, we bring others unto Christ.

    One of my favorite examples of kindness is when Jesus turns over the money tables at the temple.

    What He did was socially unacceptable, it made people feel uncomfortable, and it was inconvenient for Him, I’m sure.

    It was not a nice thing to do.

    But, it was the most appropriate way for Jesus to declare repentance in that moment.  His actions were perfectly kind.

    Sometimes God will ask you to be kind by turning over money tables, while other times He’ll ask you to bite your tongue.  Sometimes, kindness is quitting your job, while other times it is choosing to invest in one of God’s more awkward, difficult children.

    Kindness, not niceness, must be prevalent in everything we do.

    Don’t forget:

    1.  YOU ARE IN CHARGE

    2.  GOVERN YOUR LIFE BY THE BIGGER PICTURE

    3.  STOP BEING NICE; START BEING KIND

    Where will you start?ugotit

    Kathryn is the founder of www.LifeAfterMission.com, a site providing free instruction to improve social competency, finances, productivity, spirituality, dating, learning abilities, and problem-solving skills.  She is a returned missionary from Los Angeles, California and loves all things funfetti-flavored.  Visit www.lifeaftermission.com to help you become the returned missionary you’ve always wanted to be…without wasting months (or years) to get there!

  • 5 Events that Will Make You Believe in Miracles Again

    5 Events that Will Make You Believe in Miracles Again

    1. When a young crippled boy learned to walk and run despite what the doctors had said.

     

    Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 6.09.12 PM

    Photo courtesy Stott family

    Jonny was born with many complications including a twisted foot that needed extensive surgery. Due to his condition he has no living muscles in his leg and he is paralyzed in most of his body. However, Jonny has defied all odds as his dreams to run and play like other boys pushes him to conquer his crippling handicap. His story has and will continue to bless countless lives. Jonny’s older sister had this to say;

    “I think one of the greater miracles that has happened to my family would have to be about my brother, Jonny. I can’t count how many prayers we’ve offered on his behalf from before he was even born. We were told he would be born severely handicapped from a cyst in his brain. Miraculously he wasn’t. We were told he would never walk, run, ride a bike and he’s proven doctors wrong on all accounts. But the sweetest miracle we’ve seen is how it’s brought us closer as a family. The greatest miracle came from when we were realized God wasn’t going to heal Jonny completely, even when we had faith the He could. I knew Heavenly Father could heal my brother and protect him from years of pain and ridicule from peers. But He answered no. It was the most faith trying experience I had, I wondered why my faith wasn’t enough. Over the years I’ve learned that God knows better what miracles we need and when we need them. I wouldn’t trade the miracle of completely trusting Gods plan for my brother for anything. We’ve worked hard with him and struggled with him and I’ve seen the miracle of his adversity turn my little brother to the amazing man he is becoming. Jonny has been an amazing missionary to many, including my family. We’ve recognized the miraculous moments of healing. Even though his struggles have never gone away, we’ve learned I rejoice in the victories as they come and be grateful for trails that can make us strong.”

    Jonny was honored in 2011 by the BYU Football Thursdays Heroes program and was able to spend a practice with his favorite football team. Jonny still continues to defy all odds and is always striving to push his limits. His life is a miracle and this miracle brings joy to his friends and family every day.

     

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    2. When a child was rescued from an overturned vehicle 14 hours after it crashed.

     

     

    Photo via Deseret News 2015

    Photo via Deseret News 2015 

    March 2015, 18-month-year-old Lily was rescued after being suspended in her car seat in an overturned car for almost 14 hours in the freezing river near Spanish Fork, Utah. A fisherman noticed the car almost half a day after the accident, because it wasn’t visible from the roadway and a local towing service just like Towingless.com had to assist removing the car. Rescuers immediately responded to his report and stepped into the icy river to flip over the car, where it became clear that the driver, Lily’s 25-year-old mother, was deceased. Rescuers noticed that the baby was unconscious, but still alive. It was nothing short of miraculous that the child, left alone without food or water in freezing temperatures for 14 hours, could have survived such an ordeal. Probably the most striking miracle to occur was when responders claimed they distinctly heard a voice calling for help coming from the vehicle, and it was not the voice of a child.

    3. When a bomb was detonated in a classroom full of children and all the children survived.

     

    cokeville 18

    May 16, 1986, David Young and his wife Doris entered an elementary school in Cokeville Wyoming and took 136 children and 18 adults hostage with firearms and a homemade bomb. They gathered everyone in the school into one classroom. He attached the bomb to his wrist and threatened the group that he might, at any time, move his arm and ignite the bomb. He demanded 2 million dollars per child and an audience with the President Regan. After a two and a half hour standoff, the children became restless and offered a prayer. Soon after the prayer the bomb was accidentally detonated and teachers began helping the students through open windows and out the doors through the smoke and fire to safety. Every child and adult in the room escaped with their lives except for the two perpetrators David and Doris Young. There lots of little miracles associated with this event and they are all beautifully portrayed in T.C. Christensen’s newest film Cokeville Miracle, in theaters today June 5. The movie focuses on the miracle surrounding the event rather than the sensationalism of a crazy man taking children hostage. It emphasizes the power of prayer, a miracle, and God’s grace. If this movie doesn’t make you believe in miracles again, I don’t know what will.

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    4. When two thirteen year old girls were saved after their boat capsized on Bear Lake.

     

    ht_utah_teens_kab_150605_16x9_992photo via ABC News

    On June 1st, 2015, a sudden storm with extreme wind gusts settled over Bear Lake, in the Northeastern corner of Utah. Strong winds caused a boat carrying seven individuals to capsize, and those individuals fought the waves while they waited for rescue. Two teens in the group, Tiffany Stoker, 13, and Tylinn Tilly, 13, reported that when the boat capsized, they felt as if they were lifted up and gently placed into the water a safe distance from the boat. The Tiffany and Tylinn then decided to embark on their own and began swimming toward shore for help. As they swam they encouraged each other and would massage each others legs when they got cramps. They sang primary hymns and prayed together even though they had to shout over the roar of the waves. When the sun went down they began to lose hope, but a final glimmer of light from the sky gave them just the motivation they needed to swim a little bit farther. A search and rescue boat found them soon after, both cold and weak, they were rescued three hours after the boat capsized. Kathryn Capener also survived the ordeal, however, her husband Lance, her daughters Kelsey, 13,  Kilee, 7 and a family friend Siera Hadley, 13, didn’t survive. While this miracle is surrounded by tragedy we cannot deny the heavenly hand that surrounded the rescue of these two teenagers.

    5. When a young mother and her husband survived a plane crash and lived to raise their children.

     

    Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 6.55.52 PM

    via ABC News: (courtesy Nielson family)

    Stephanie Nielson and her husband Christian miraculously survived a plane crash in 2008. While the crash left them with severe burns, they were able to return home to their four children. Stephanie was in a coma for four months, and while she experienced excruciating pain, the greatest pain was battling the fact that her burns left her scarred and disfigured. While she struggled with the fact that she’d never be beautiful again, she was reassured to know that she was still alive to be a mother to her children, she could still eat her favorite foods, and that she could still kiss her husband. Since the accident, Stephanie has inspired millions with her blog and was  featured in a video on the Mormon Channel. She also wrote a memoir that she hopes will bring comfort to others facing adversity. Her miracle continues to edify millions.

  • Can I Disagree With Church Leaders?

    Can I Disagree With Church Leaders?

    There seems to be a dichotomy for some between faith and obedience. Joseph Smith taught that faith is the moving power behind action. James in the New Testament wrote that faith is observable through works.((James 2)) In the New Testament Greek the words faith, belief and trust are all translated from the same word.((Strong’s Greek lexicon 4100 Pisteuo to have faith, believe, put trust in or with. Pistis 4102 faith, belief, trust.)) In other words for one to have faith does not necessarily signify agreement. It is possible to have faith and trust and believe what my leaders are saying and doing and still not necessarily agree with them. For example: in an interchange between Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, Joseph accused Brigham publicly of doing something that Brigham had not done. There was tension in the room as Brigham stood facing Joseph and simply said “what would you have me do”?((As cited in “Joseph Smith the Prophet” Truman Madsen, Bookcraft 1989, 87-88.)) Brigham had faith and trust in Joseph but he did not agree with the accusation. By his actions, he showed faith in that he was willing to follow Joseph’s lead. Brigham Young was well aware of Joseph’s imperfections as a man. Yet he trusted him as a prophet and later expected the same level of trust from those who would follow him as a prophet. As a church we do not now nor have we ever believed in prophetic infallibility. We are led by men who have shown the ability to make mistakes and through inspiration correct them.

     

    However, there is a difference between disagreement and dissent. A dissident is a person who openly opposes another person in a position of authority. Brigham Young was not a dissident. Hyrum, the prophet’s brother was not a dissident when he disagreed with Joseph over returning to Nauvoo just prior to the martyrdom. They had fled the city and Joseph was intending to go West when accusations came that they were cowards and had fled at the first sign of trouble. Joseph by revelation stated that the saints would be fine if he and Hyrum left.((HC 6:549-50)) As it turned out Joseph was correct yet Hyrum believed and trusted that the Lord would protect them in spite of Joseph’s revelation. He was wrong. William Law on the other hand was a dissident. He was a former member of the first presidency and was openly fighting against Joseph and the policies of the church.((Principal writer of the “Nauvoo Expositor” and former member of the first presidency with Joseph Smith.)) Today there are those who openly and publicly fight against the policies of the church and the decisions of the brethren who have authority to direct the church. Yet sometimes, the same people claim to love the church and have faith and believe in the restoration. Herein then is the dichotomy, faith is shown by action. To believe one must act. Activity in the church is shown by serving in callings, living the commandments and actively studying the scriptures and the words of the living prophets. It is also sustaining and uplifting those called to preside over us.

     

    I personally am willing to follow the decisions of the leading brethren of the church, not because I know them personally or because I believe every decision is always correct but rather because I trust the keys which they hold. In the end, I believe the Lord will work through his chosen servants until they get it right. Opposition does not motivate decisions to change the church, the spirit motivates decisions and affects changes in the church. Those who openly oppose the policies of the church certainly have the right to do so whether they are members or nonmembers of the church. But I do not believe that we can consider those who openly oppose to be faithful. The Lord blesses those who faithfully follow even if they do not fully understand or in some cases agree.

     

    Tim patty received a BA in history from BYU, and an MA in Hebrew and Jewish studies from University of Utah. He has taught seminary courses for 4 years, and institute for 23 years. He currently teaches at the Logan LDS Institute. He is happily married and has raised 5 children.

  • So You’re Moving to the Singles Ward

    So You’re Moving to the Singles Ward

    Silence. Oh, so much silence. It’s awkward and puzzling. Why is it so quiet in this sacrament meeting? Then it hits you: no babies. Toto, we aren’t in the home ward anymore.

    Many of you young LDS 18-year-olds feel a little apprehensive about leaving the cushy pews of your beloved home ward and embarking into the unknown world of young single adult wards. With the 2014-2015 school year drawing to a close, there are many of you in the church who will soon have to face this step. Here are five tips to make the transition smoother.

    1. Young single adult wards are ordained of God.

     

    YSA wards were created for the edifying of young single saints. If you fit in that category, the Lord has provided a place just for you! There are life-altering friendships to be made and amazingly fun experiences to have, and most of all, we need you. YSA wards are living, breathing things and, unlike most home wards, they are constantly changing. We need the youth coming in to be engaged and to fearlessly dive into the ward to keep the blood flowing. The Lord always has need of willing men and women who will put the shoulder to the wheel and become anxiously engaged in the great cause of YSA wards.

    2. Fear not the marriage counsel, oh be ye not dismayed.

     

    News Flash: Singles wards are designed to get young adults married. It’s kind of the whole point. You may have met some young singles who are annoyed by the constant counsel from the pulpit about the importance of marriage and starting a family, and let’s be honest: dating can be rough, and the constant reminder of your singleness can be a little hard to swallow. But be ye not dismayed! The reason being single feels so wrong is because it is wrong. God never intended for us to be alone and wants to provide us with the optimal opportunity to meet people with similar interests and values so we can each create our own eternal families. Remember, timing is everything. If you don’t feel like you are ready to be married, the answer isn’t avoiding YSA activities. The answer is simply: don’t get married. You have full control of your marital status, so don’t be afraid to date lots and lots of fun, interesting people. If one of them just so happens to be the cheese to your macaroni, go with it and live happily ever after.

    3. Get Active, Stay Active

     

    In life, participation equals fulfillment. The same can be said of YSA wards. Lift where you stand! Grow where you’re planted! Go to gospel doctrine class every week and you could even chime in with a comment. Go to home evening, take a break from homework, and rock those wholesome recreational activities with your peeps. Activities, home/visiting teaching, firesides, devotionals, there are all sorts of ways to get involved! Be everywhere. Be where the party is and people are going to notice (especially members of the opposite sex). An active person is an interesting person, and staying involved does wonders for your testimony. If you want to stay active in the church, you need to be active in your ward.

    4. Bring a Friend

     

    A good ally is worth his/her weight in gold. Be it a roommate, BFF, significant other, or maybe a non-member friend, don’t try to face the YSA ward alone. Your sojourn through the YSA world can sometimes be a rocky one, and you need someone to stick with you through thick and thin. You also need to be that support for others who are new to the ward. Let them know you can relate to their deer-in-the-headlights gaze you saw as they walked in for the first time, and show them you’ve been there. Fellowshipping is vital in our church, and you won’t believe how much you’ll love to do it.

    5. Always have a calling. We need you!


    Still trying to dodge bishops’ looks? Well, it’s time to look your destiny in the eye. One of the coolest aspects of a YSA ward is your being able to hold a variety of different callings usually reserved for the grown-ups. It was pretty daunting for me fresh out of high school to be called as the Relief Society secretary after only being in the ward for two weeks. But it was the most rewarding calling I had ever had. President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, “There is no calling in this church which is of little or no consequence. All of us, in our pursuit of duty, touches the lives of others.” Get touching some lives, people! And become an active member of the body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:25-27).

    Like I said, we need you. We need your talents, your testimony, and your time. The YSA ward can seem daunting but you have so much to gain and everything to loose! With the right attitude, you can turn this transition into one of the most rewarding opportunities of your life. That is what the transition to my young single adult ward became for me. I know that that is exactly where the Lord wants me to be and I promised to make the most of it. I invite all of you to do the same, commit now to grab YSA life by the horns and become the disciple the Lord wants you to be.