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What It Takes to be an Apostle

In just a few short days, the lives of three men will be changed forever as they fill the seats left vacant from the recent passing of LDS apostles Boyd K. Packer, L. Tom Perry, and Richard G. Scott. Accepting the call of Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ will be, to say the least, a daunting experience. Those who accept are expected to take on the same role as Peter, James, or John. They are asked to take the place of powerful teachers who dedicated their lives to the sharing of the gospel. What’s more, they’ll likely be taking on the responsibilities of those who, to them, would have been dear colleagues and friends. It may be a little more than overwhelming.

At a time with so much change in church leadership, one might wonder what it takes to be an apostle. How do these great men do it and why? Our departed brethren, President Packer, Elder Perry, and Elder Scott gave us excellent examples of some specific qualities of the holy calling.

FELLOWSHIP

Perhaps no one described the the Twelve like President Boyd K. Packer. He compared the Twelve of today to the original Twelve:

“The present Twelve are very ordinary people. They are not, as the original Twelve were not, spectacular individually, but collectively the Twelve are a power.

“They all are students and teachers of the gospel of Jesus Christ. What unites us is our love of the Savior and His Father’s children and our witness that He stands at the head of the Church.

“Almost to a man, the Twelve come from humble beginnings, as it was when He was here. The living Twelve are welded together in the ministry of the gospel of Jesus Christ. When the call came, each has put down his nets, so to speak, and followed the Lord.”
“These men are true servants of the Lord; give heed to their counsel.”
According to President Packer, the power of the office of Apostle doesn’t come individually to each member, but the power comes from the Twelve as a unit. Unity is perhaps the greatest strength of the apostles. A man who is about to be called to the holy apostleship can rest assured that the Lord won’t expect him to become an extraordinary seer and revelator overnight. The Lord does, however, expect him to be willing to dive into the work with all he has. A council of twelve is the Lord’s way of offering such a man support and needed delegation while doing the work of His kingdom.

RESOLVE

When Richard G. Scott was first called as an apostle in 1988, he had the opportunity to address the church. During their inaugurating speeches, almost all newly-called apostles express how humbled they are to receive this new assignment. Elder Scott, however, didn’t talk about the humbling experience of the call. Instead, he explained the emotional aspect of it. He talked about the struggle he had as he tried to grasp the significance of his new, sacred calling. What was even more impressive is the resolve that he covenanted with the Lord to keep. He then expressed that resolve to the members of the church:
“There has distilled within my mind and heart a resolve that I have covenanted with the Lord to obey. It is to live to be worthy to know the will of the Lord and to live to have, with His help, the capacity and courage to carry out that will—and to desire nothing else.”
Throughout his apostleship, we saw Elder Scott live up to this resolve that he made in the beginning. His life is a great example of worthy living, and his acceptance of the Lord’s will was unparalleled.

DEVOTION

Tom Perry, upon being called as an apostle, also expressed how emotional of an experience it was. He spoke very personally about his childhood, how he looked up to the apostles and memorized each one by name. He went on to explain how his father took it upon himself to teach him a little bit about the life of each apostle. Elder Perry would say that if you asked him today, he could still name each apostle and something about them. As he contemplated how a different father might tell his son about Elder Perry, then the newest member of the twelve, he was shocked. “What could he ever tell about me?” Elder Perry thought.

Elder Perry lived an ordinary life that was made extraordinary through the Gospel. While he was overwhelmed by his new assignment he realized that the only way he could magnify this calling is to handing over his whole heart to the Lord. This declaration he gave in his very first General Conference Address as an Apostle showcases his determination;

“I am devoted to service in our Father in heaven’s kingdom. Use me in any way that I am capable.”

His humble willingness to work in the Lord’s kingdom qualified him for his assignment, which he served in with optimism and determination.

Three men will each take on these same roles with Elder Perry, President Packer, and Elder Scott as excellent examples. Those three individuals will each have to take that emotional walk up to the stand, called to be prophets, seers. and revelators. They will each have the privilege of watching their own sustaining vote as concourses of people gratefully raise their hands in favor of their calling. They will be set apart to a life of service and will become special witnesses of the Lord Jesus Christ. The devotion that they exhibit to their calling will help them face every day and every challenge with hope and enthusiasm. Their resolve to perform to their duties to the best of their abilities will instill a deep love and respect in everyone within their stewardship. And the fellowship to which they join is one of power and authority and as they join their testimonies to the quorum, it will be made complete.

Notes:
Packer, Boyd K. “The Twelve,” Ensign, May 2008, 85–86.

Perry, L. Tom. “Build Your Shield of Faith” April 1974, General Conference Address

Scott, Richard G. “True Friends That Lift” October 1988, General Conference Address

October 1, 2015
Looks Like the World Isn’t Ending Just Yet

You’ve probably heard by now that some members of the Church have been stockpiling food, water, and other emergency supplies in preparation for what they suspect is the pending apocalypse. In answer to many questions and actions from members who have interpreted the experiences of members like Julie Rowe as statements of doctrine, the Church has released the following statement:

The Church encourages our members to be spiritually and physically prepared for life’s ups and downs. For many decades, Church leaders have counseled members that, where possible, they should gradually build a supply of food, water and financial resources to ensure they are self-reliant during disasters and the normal hardships that are part of life, including illness, injury or unemployment.

This teaching to be self-reliant has been accompanied by the counsel of Church leaders to avoid being caught up in extreme efforts to anticipate catastrophic events.

The writings and speculations of individual Church members, some of which have gained currency recently, should be considered as personal accounts or positions that do not reflect Church doctrine.

So it looks like the world won’t be ending this week, but at least we get to enjoy a rare lunar eclipse anyway! Check out Mormon Newsroom for the full press release.

September 27, 2015
The Terrible Advice Mormons Should Stop Giving

The other day, one of my friends posted an article from Tech Insider titled “This fearless Mormon feminist is doing something very brave and very dangerous.” I groaned inside, but took the bait and clicked the link anyway. As may have been expected from the title, the article ended up being a fairly sensationalized piece whose primary source was the Mormon feminist. I think one other individual was quoted and even then, just once. I don’t quite consider myself a journalism professional, but having had five years of news-writing experience, I was pained by the lack of professionalism and credibility exhibited by the writer of this piece. It bothered me more than the “very brave and very dangerous” feminist did.

After reading the post, I scrolled to the comments, hoping to see that someone was clearing up misconceptions, biases, and mistruths this article showcased. What I saw angered me in a different way. There were your typical “MORMONS ARE A CULT!! DON’T BUY INTO THEIR FAIRYTALE GOD!!!” comments. There were your typical “Mormon leadership is a bunch of greedy white males trying to build shopping malls from your holy money” comments. But the comments that bothered me the most came, surprisingly, from members of the church. These commenters attempted to defend their beliefs, but before doing so, almost every single one of them began their comments with a variation of the following phrase:

“If you don’t like the church, why don’t you just leave it?”

I cannot begin to number the times I have heard this phrase used by members in their attempts to defend the church. I’ve read Letters to the Editor telling opinion writers that they should get out of Utah if they don’t like the Mormon influence. I’ve read comments on Facebook following the Ordain Women movement that told women who think they’re being treated unfairly to just leave and start their own church. I’ve heard well-meaning (I hope) ward members who, frustrated by others who press issues in the church, assert that everyone would be happier if these members left. In another context, I’ve heard it mumbled by young men/young women leaders who think a troublemaking kid with a struggling testimony would do everyone a favor by just going home and never coming back. All of these have caused me to sit back and feel completely defeated.

What are we thinking?

If we have a testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, if we understand the blessings that come through being a member, if we truly understand the doctrine, then how on earth can we encourage someone else to leave it? Christ left the ninety and nine to rescue the one, and instead of following His example, we are literally telling that one to leave soon if it’s going to leave. How are we okay with that?

In the world we live in, religion has been stripped of all truth and is instead treated like a collection of ideological fast food joints. You can pick and choose what you want to believe — Catholicism, Islam, Christianity, etc. — because a church is just a church, beliefs are just beliefs. We know better. Ours is a church with the Priesthood restored to the earth. Ours is a church wherein are sacred covenants that bind families to each other forever. Ours is a church with doctrine that allows us to move forward and eventually become like our Heavenly Father. It isn’t just a church, nor should somebody just leave. If we understand and believe the gospel we claim to believe, it is inexcusable to tell someone — they could be struggling with part of their testimony, they could be worried about church history, they could be inactive, or they could be actively voicing opinions we find shocking — that they should drop everything and go. They need the gospel and the blessings that come from it. The church needs them, their insights, their contributions and personalities. And we need to stop pretending like our wards would be better off without them, because our wards are only going to get better when we rid ourselves of the attitude that anyone different needs to leave.

Again, it makes me ask, “How dare we?” How dare we, knowing exactly what our Savior would do to save a soul, knowing how He would respond with love, and knowing what He would say to the troubled soul on the brink of going, do the opposite? Maybe the truth is that we don’t know the Savior at all, or we don’t desire to be like Him at all. I don’t know which is worse.

If you have questions, if you’re one of those who simply don’t like the church, please stay. Please keep coming. Put your heart and soul into figuring it out, asking questions, and trying to learn. We need you, and I think you need the rest of us, too. The truth is that we’re all imperfect, and we’re all figuring it out, even if we wouldn’t admit that we are. Stay for the joy of serving others, stay for the peace you receive in the temple, stay for the Sacrament and the chance to become like Christ.

If this church is not what it’s claimed to be, you’ll live your life becoming a better person. If this church is what it’s claimed to be, your reward for staying will be so large, you won’t be humanly capable of comprehending it.

If you go and it’s true, then what?

Christ loved all of us dearly, so much so that He willingly allowed Himself to feel our pains and discouragements and sins and confusions. Every one of us is important to Him. Every one. So let’s be patient with ourselves and each other. Let’s be more loving. Christ isn’t lying when He says the one sheep matters. Let’s not act like He is.

September 22, 2015
24 Weddings and What I Learned From Them

Cover images courtesy Marleah Joy, Bruce Bentley, John Hope, John Hope, 2now1 Photography

Attending weddings as a single girl can be hard at times. Even if you don’t have plans to get married anytime soon, something about those white dresses makes us daydream of our own big day. This year I’ve had the opportunity to attend over 24 weddings and a handful of sealings. I’ve seen it all, classy and elegant, shabby-chic, country weddings, urban weddings, cultural-hall weddings, you name it. Through it all I’ve had the chance to reflect on my on own singleness, and my perspective and view about marriage and weddings. Here are a few things I learned from all the weddings I attended this year.

When It comes to fast engagements, we can’t judge

Some things are done differently in Utah, I’m one of the first to admit that. Here in Utah, particularly with LDS couples, courtships are short and engagements even shorter. It is perfectly realistic for a couple to meet, date, court, and get engaged in as little as 4-6 weeks. There are, and have been many debates over whether this is appropriate or not, and I for one have had strong opinions on the subject. I have set firm guidelines for how long my relationships will last but I have seen several friends who have, on multiple occasions, expressed their disgust with other’s quick engagements. Ironically, some of those same friends have ended up with 6-week engagements. When questioned about it they just shake their heads and say, “It just feels right.”

I’ve learned that we can’t judge these couples. We’ve only had an outsider’s perspective on their relationship so it seems silly to pass judgement on how prepared they may or may not be for marriage. While it’s true that some are more ready than others, we haven’t felt what this couple has felt. We haven’t received the same impressions or been involved in the same private conversations. As much as I’d like to think I’m an expert on marriage and relationships, I’m not! So, if a crazy happy couple decides to tie the knot one month after their first date, by all means, I will be at the reception with a smile on my face and a present in my hand. Speaking of which…

Weddings are extremely happy occasions and should be treated as such.

I’ve seen so many sour-faced people at weddings, and even more who just avoid them all together. This could be the result of several factors, some claim they hate weddings, or perhaps think they’re boring. Maybe they’re jealous of the happy couple and find weddings a depressing reminder of their own singlehood. Maybe they’re just too busy finding a spouse of their own! Whatever the reason, some miss what weddings are actually about. Weddings are a celebratory marker for the beginning of a new family unit. A new family is born! The family is ordained by God and central to His plan of happiness for His children. A family set upon the solid foundation of marriage is set up for success from the beginning. Why not celebrate this culminating ordinance, why not celebrate the creation of one more family in the world? So let’s go and wish the happy couple the best and give them a cheerful send off into the rest of their lives together.

I’ve also learned that I want my wedding to be a party. I’ve been to some terribly somber weddings and felt like I was at a wake rather than a wedding. Sure they’re beautiful and elegant, but almost serious instead of joyous. I’ve started to recognize weddings for what they are, a celebration! When it comes to weddings, I want to dance, sing, laugh, and cry from utter happiness. I hope I never forget how happy weddings are. It’s important that the Bride and Groom remember how happy they are on their wedding day.. Which brings me to lesson number three:

Say yes to the dress? No, you say yes to your fiancé.

I’ve spent some time working in the wedding industry as a florist. I have worked one on one with mostly brides and mothers and they all confront the demands of planning a wedding differently. But one thing remains constant; weddings are stressful. I’ve seen some brides who are so caught up in the wedding details, the cake, the bouquet, his tux, the venue, the decorations, the dress, that they forget what they’re actually planning for. They make themselves miserable trying to micromanage the planning of what should be the happiest day of their lives. I’ve learned it’s not worth it to stress about the details, what matters is to be in the right place at the right time with the right person. Everything else, including that burlap table runner, is just extra.

Focus on the sealing. Sure, provide a beautiful event for your guests to enjoy but you want them to also remember why they’re actually there. I want my family and friends to gush over the beauty of my new life as a married woman instead of my $650 dress I’ll never wear again. I want them to comment on the radiance of my husband’s smile rather than the size of the cake. A wedding isn’t about having the best photographer or the trendiest bouquet; a wedding is about giving your whole life over to someone you have come to trust completely and taking their life in your own hands to create something eternal and celestial together. When I’m at the altar across from that person, I don’t want to be fretting about not having enough tulle to cover the chairs with, I want to be completely engrossed in that moment that will mark my eternity. Forget the dress, say “yes” to your fiancé.

There’s a marriage after the wedding

There is life after the wedding, a marriage even. I’ve seen brides spend hundreds dollars on fabric and mason jars for gorgeous handmade centerpieces for their wedding, who then can’t even afford silverware to eat their leftover luncheon food the following week. Marriage is a big change for a couple, especially young couples. We’re often so excited and giddy about the wedding that we forget there’s a marriage to worry about. Marriage requires patience, cooperation, sacrifice, unconditional love, compromise, financial competence, acceptance, and much more! You don’t become an expert on being a spouse once you make those vows. There’s a lot to prepare for if I want to build a home for you and your spouse. For those of us who are single, we probably won’t have a full understanding of what married life entails pre-marriage, but we can surely do ourpart to prepare for life after the honeymoon ends.

I have truly come to love weddings and I appreciate them more than I ever have. Weddings are a beautiful tradition and when done correctly can become the most perfect day.

September 19, 2015
After 9/11 Gordon B. Hinckley Taught Something Unexpected

We all remember the events of September 11, 2001, but many of us, myself included, were too young at the time to remember much of the aftermath. In pondering these tragic events I realized that I had never read anything about how the Church responded. The Church’s semiannual General Conference was held less than a month after the attacks, at a time when the hurt and confusion was still fresh in the nation’s mind. As I read a talk given by President Gordon B. Hinkley, I was reminded in a wonderful way just how much our Church’s leadership exemplifies the love of Christ. At a time when as a nation many felt angry and vengeful, these were the words of counsel given by our then-current prophet,

“Those of us who are American citizens stand solidly with the president of our nation. The terrible forces of evil must be confronted and held accountable for their actions. This is not a matter of Christian against Muslim. I am pleased that food is being dropped to the hungry people of a targeted nation. We value our Muslim neighbors across the world and hope that those who live by the tenets of their faith will not suffer. I ask particularly that our own people do not become a party in any way to the persecution of the innocent. Rather, let us be friendly and helpful, protective and supportive. It is the terrorist organizations that must be ferreted out and brought down.”

After 9/11 we saw a surge in Islamophobia that is still prevalent today. What a beautiful reminder that these were the actions of a group of extremists, and not the work of an entire faith. He continued,

“We of this Church know something of such groups. The Book of Mormon speaks of the Gadianton robbers, a vicious, oath-bound, and secret organization bent on evil and destruction. In their day they did all in their power, by whatever means available, to bring down the Church, to woo the people with sophistry, and to take control of the society. We see the same thing in the present situation.”

“We are people of peace. We are followers of the Christ who was and is the Prince of Peace. But there are times when we must stand up for right and decency, for freedom and civilization, just as Moroni rallied his people in his day to the defense of their wives, their children, and the cause of liberty (see Alma 48:10).”

He reminded us next to be realistic, and to face the future with optimism:

“Now, I do not wish to be an alarmist. I do not wish to be a prophet of doom. I am optimistic. I do not believe the time is here when an all-consuming calamity will overtake us. I earnestly pray that it may not. There is so much of the Lord’s work yet to be done. We, and our children after us, must do it.”

and then turned us towards God, and towards our fellow neighbor:

“Let us be prayerful. Let us pray for righteousness. Let us pray for the forces of good. Let us reach out to help men and women of goodwill, whatever their religious persuasion and wherever they live. Let us stand firm against evil, both at home and abroad. Let us live worthy of the blessings of heaven, reforming our lives where necessary and looking to Him, the Father of us all. He has said, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps. 46:10).”

“Are these perilous times? They are. But there is no need to fear. We can have peace in our hearts and peace in our homes. We can be an influence for good in this world, every one of us.”

I was very young when our nation was attacked, and I was unable to fully appreciate the level of fear and doubt that must have prevailed in the hearts of many. What a blessing it was then, as it is now, to have living prophets to remind us what is really important, and how to face the future with faith.

The full talk can be read here: The Times in Which We Live

September 11, 2015
The Church Was Not Prepared to Leave Behind Scouting

This past month, our Facebook feeds and news outlets have been riddled with boys in green shorts, khaki uniforms, and rainbow neckerchiefs. Recently, the Boy Scouts of America was involved in a series of lawsuits relating to their previous blanket ban on openly gay scout leaders. In July, the BSA National Executive Board made the decision to lift the ban and allow openly gay scout leaders to lead troops. Their decision also allowed charter organizations the freedom to continue to select scout leaders for their troops based on their own criteria.

This decision did not come as a surprise for Church leadership. It’s important to remember that while the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is protected by the First Amendment, the Boy Scouts of America, as an institution, is not. The legal pressure on the BSA was such that it became almost impossible for the Boy Scouts to continue with their current policies as they stood. As with any business or public service organization, the BSA has to adhere to anti-discrimination laws, whereas, the Church as a religious institution has the constitutionally protected right to appoint who they wish. Many news outlets picked up on the disappointment of Church leadership in the statement following the decision. But it seems to me that the Church was more put out by the timing of the decision rather than the outcome. Yesterday, the Church released another statement in response to speculation about a potential break up of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the Boy Scouts of America. After discussion, the leaders of the Church have decided to go forward with the Boy Scouts of America as one of their charter organizations.

The Church has a significant presence within the leadership of the BSA. Four general authorities have a place on the BSA National Executive Board at this time: President Thomas S. Monson, the longest standing member of the board, who was just granted lifetime membership status; Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, who was just elected last May; Stephen W. Owen, Young Men general president, as well as, Rosemary M. Wixom, Primary general president. Many of these leaders have expressed a deep appreciation for scouting and its ability to influence the young men of the Church. It should come as no surprise, then, that the Church has decided to continue on with its century old relationship with the BSA. Here are a few factors that may have influenced this decision.

1. Scouting ties the Church to the community and provides opportunities to share the Gospel.

Dave Pack, the Scout Executive of the Utah National Parks Council (the largest council in the nation, servicing a staggering 89,268 scouts in their council alone) spoke with Mormon Buzzz after the BSA made the policy change. This council is unique in that it has a very high percentage of LDS troops, which means that Pack was very invested in the Church’s decision. He discussed the potential consequences of the Church breaking away from the BSA, and one aspect that Dave touched on was the large number of non-member scouts that are involved with LDS troops. These scouts have a very up-close and personal experience with the Young Men program and the Church in general. These situations provide the LDS youth with priceless missionary opportunities where they can share their testimonies with non-members in their own troop. Dave stated, “The Church would be missing out on a lot of missionary opportunities if they broke off from scouting.” Scouting also helps the youth of the Church expand their friendships to boys not of our faith and helps them gain a respect for people who don’t share our beliefs. Scouting helps foster a love and reverence for the country and provides opportunities to serve and improve the communities where scouts live. This connection with the community is as valuable for the Church as it is for the community. David L. Beck, former Young Men general president, said, “Scouting is a bridge to join with good people of other faiths and organizations whose values and aspirations are similar to ours, and to work together to bless all youth in our communities.” If this particular tie was severed, it would be difficult for the Church to develop a link as beneficial as this with those not of our faith, and we would be much more isolated from our communities.

2. Lack of infrastructure makes creating an alternative program difficult for the Church.

In the Church’s statement regarding the decision of the BSA Executive Board, it mentioned the Church’s previous attempts to create an international program that can benefit the youth of the Church worldwide. Dave Pack expressed that the Church failed to sustain an international program because it lacked the infrastructure and organization that the BSA provides. One of the biggest assets that the BSA has is paid staff. If the Church were to develop an alternative program, it would rely largely on volunteers, the same way it functions in the other organizations of the Church. BSA facilities provide a place for young men to have a huge variety of experiences in one place. There are scout camps built all around the country that are fully equipped to give scouts training and experience that will prepare them and educate them. While the Church is perfectly capable of replicating and even improving those kinds of facilities, it would take years to build the facilities to accommodate the young men of the Church. It wouldn’t be feasible for the Church to build a program to equal the BSA.

While there is a demand for a more globalized program for young men, the leaders of the Church, in their most recent statement, mentioned that they would continue to refine program options to fit the needs of youth all around the world.

3. Scouting truly helps young men in the Church.

Contrary to what some people may believe, scouting, when done right, really does benefit and help young men develop and grow. I have been surrounded with scouting all my life. An overwhelming majority of the men (and a few women too) in my family are Eagle Scouts and a few are professional scouts. I worked for the Boy Scouts of America and taught young scouters. I saw at firsthand scouting done right and scouting done wrong. But even in my limited experience, I saw that the positive outcomes outnumbered the negative. I saw some of the loudest, most obnoxious boys turn silent and reverent as they humbly saluted the flag. They were reflecting the reverence they saw in their scoutmasters and leaders, and in those moments, these young men become teachable and respectable. You’d be hard-pressed to find that kind of reverence, even in a sunday school classroom.

Dave Pack said the biggest benefit he saw in the scouting program was its ability to help turn young men into effective missionaries. “Scouting provides the best opportunity to be prepared for a mission. A good Scouting experience will allow [a young man] to gain skills like teaching, teamwork, leadership and cooperation, giving him skills that would be hard to find anywhere else to prepare him to serve the Lord.” he also had this to say about the benefits of the scouting program:

“If mothers only knew that, as a Scout, her son will be surrounded by the example of men that would teach him true-life skills, men who would set an example of what he could become, men of character, men of spiritual strength, men of God.

“If mothers only knew that living the Scout Oath and Law are central to what happens in a boy’s heart through Scouting. Examples of integrity are harder to find in today’s world. We need more young men to become men of integrity, to know what it means to be physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight. Over time, a Scout learns what the Oath and Law are and how to apply them in his life.”

Take the word of our prophet Thomas S. Monson and listen to what he had to say about scouting: “Scouting helps our boys to walk uprightly the priesthood path to exaltation.” He also made this remark at the 100 Years of Scouting in the Church celebration that happened only two years ago. I think his statement is more applicable now than it was then. “If ever there were a time when the principles of Scouting were vitally needed, that time is now.”

Let us move forward with optimism and faith in the future and the Church’s decision to stick with the BSA.

Cover photo detail from “We, Too, Have a Job To Do” by Norman Rockwell

August 27, 2015
Church Releases New Statement Regarding Relationship With Boy Scouts of America

In a follow-up to their recent statement regarding the Church’s relationship with the Boy Scouts of America, the church today released the following statement:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints appreciates the positive contributions Scouting has made over the years to thousands of its young men and boys and to thousands of other youth. As leaders of the Church, we want the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) to succeed in its historic mission to instill leadership skills and high moral standards in youth of all faiths and circumstances, thereby equipping them for greater success in life and valuable service to their country.

In the resolution adopted on July 27, 2015, and in subsequent verbal assurances to us, BSA has reiterated that it expects those who sponsor Scouting units (such as the Church) to appoint Scout leaders according to their religious and moral values “in word and deed and who will best inculcate the organization’s values through the Scouting program.” At this time, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will go forward as a chartering organization of BSA, and as in the past, will appoint Scout leaders and volunteers who uphold and exemplify Church doctrine, values, and standards.

With equal concern for the substantial number of youth who live outside the United States and Canada, the Church will continue to evaluate and refine program options that better meet its global needs.

This statement comes at the heels of the the Boy Scouts of America’s decision last month to allow openly gay men to serve as leaders. Shortly after the decision was made the church released this statement:

“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is deeply troubled by today’s vote by the Boy Scouts of America National Executive Board. In spite of a request to delay the vote, it was scheduled at a time in July when members of the Church’s governing councils are out of their offices and do not meet. When the leadership of the Church resumes its regular schedule of meetings in August, the century-long association with Scouting will need to be examined. The Church has always welcomed all boys to its Scouting units regardless of sexual orientation. However, the admission of openly gay leaders is inconsistent with the doctrines of the Church and what have traditionally been the values of the Boy Scouts of America.

As a global organization with members in 170 countries, the Church has long been evaluating the limitations that fully one-half of its youth face where Scouting is not available. Those worldwide needs combined with this vote by the BSA National Executive Board will be carefully reviewed by the leaders of the Church in the weeks ahead.”’

Lead image via Mormon Newsroom

August 26, 2015
Free Wallpaper Download: Priorities – Elder Oaks

Do you have a boring phone or desktop wallpaper? Remind yourself what’s really important with this free downloadable wallpaper. The quote comes from this talk by Elder Oaks given in General Conference April 2001.

Are you a graphic designer? Submit your own uplifting artwork for a chance to have your artwork featured!

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August 24, 2015
5 Dating Tips All Recent RMs Need to Succeed

You’re an elder or a sister missionary who has just stepped foot off of the plane ride home. The end of your mission is before you, and suddenly, there are looming decisions on your mind. What am I going to do for school? Where am I going to live? What am I going to study? You wonder. But, maybe most of all, your mind is stuck on what everyone told you was the next big step, the one you’re equally terrified and excited for: dating, then marriage.

Who are you going to marry?

The next months and maybe years of your life will be filled with an awkward stumble to figure that out. You’ll go on great dates that never turn into anything, bad dates that you never want to repeat, or maybe no dates, because frankly, you either don’t want to or are terrified to go on them. It may be smooth sailing, but, as it is for most of us, it will probably be rough. Mistakes will be made, feelings will be hurt, and hearts will be broken. Such is dating. It’s a learning process for all of us, and, unfortunately, it sometimes takes a while to learn how to do it right or admit we’re doing it wrong.
That being said, there are five pieces of advice I’ve used in my own life, including including moody advice that I think every RM, and really, every single adult, could use to vastly improve their dating experience and make it more enjoyable for all involved. You might try them yourself.

1. Even though marriage is definitely the end goal, you need to put in time to get there.

When I graduated from high school and was starting college, I was immediately overwhelmed by neighbors and ward members who told me, “Now you’ve got to get married!” It influenced my dating life so much that it made me miserable. I took every date seriously, and when it didn’t work out, my confidence took a major hit, which we shouldn’t do as people sometimes take it more lightly and enjoy more maybe use services like escort finder to find companionship and so on. I naively expected that marriage would be handed to me if I simply went on dates, and because I expected that, I made marriage far more important than getting to know the guys I dated. I ended up dating guys who were in no way compatible or right for me.

As an RM, you’ve probably had similar experiences. Some of you probably expected (or expect) marriage to just happen once you started dating, and you’ve likely found that that’s not how it works. Others of you have perhaps jumped into serious relationships that did not end well because you were more concerned with getting married than actually loving the person you dated. In this instance, you have to think of dating in terms of teaching the gospel. As member missionaries (and I’m sure as sisters/elders), we are taught that the most inefficient and, in many instances, uncaring thing we can do for those not of our faith is to confront them with why they need to join the church before we even get to know them. You don’t lead people to enjoy the blessings of the gospel simply by telling them they need to be baptized. You do it by expressing love and compassion, by getting to know who they are and learning to love them. Dating, my friends, is a similar experience. You simply cannot expect marriage without being willing to put a lot of time into getting to know and love someone.

If being married is more important to you than the actual person you choose to spend eternity with, you’re building up to disaster. Seek out your desire to marry, but most importantly, concern yourself with getting to know and perhaps love those you date. All good things take time.

2. Use physical affection sparingly and meaningfully.

When dating someone you really like post-mission, you may really want to hold their hand or kiss them. Please take care to limit your physical affection and analyze your motives for using it when you do. Holding a person’s hand or kissing them early on at the risk of deciding you don’t want to date them later is not only emotionally confusing for the other person, but indicative that your intentions are not actually centered on the person you like at all, but yourself. Physical affection is a powerful way to deepen connection between two people, and that’s why physical contact is so important in a couple from kissing to sex, with many also using accessories as the good rabbit vibe so they can enjoy more with their partners. “Making up for what you lost in two years of famine,” as a mission is sometimes referred to, is reckless and selfish, and it can lead to greater mistakes down the road.

If you like someone, get to know them. Get to love them. Bridle your passions, as the scriptures say. Physical affection, when used as a way to express love rather than demand it, is the most beautiful thing in the world. Learn early to use it properly, and it will be far more rewarding than just handing it out.

3. Do not let your inability to decide become more important than your dates’ feelings.

Probably the toughest thing about dating for most of us is worrying about committing to the wrong person. That worry creates indecisiveness, which not only cripples us, but can wound the people we date. Fresh off your mission, you might really want to date someone seriously, but find yourself reluctant to cut off other options. Please be careful. It is unfair to lead someone on by dating them “exclusively” while still looking at your options. I’ve known many returned elders who, paralyzed by the idea of having to choose, seriously dated more than one girl at a time. I’ve been the girl whose boyfriend wanted to date other people at the same time. Not only is that extremely disrespectful and painful for someone who chose to commit to you, it does not prepare you in any way for marriage.

Do not run from commitment. Do what the Lord asks us to do. Make a decision about who to date, never mind the other options, and run with it until you feel like it’s either right and should go on, or wrong and should end. Then, when you do find out if it is right or wrong, be honest with the person you’re dating. Be completely clear about how you feel, but also be compassionate. If you’re a person who needs options, then consider and sift through those options long before you decide to make a relationship with someone serious.

4. Perfection doesn’t exist. Stop looking for it.

When we date, we need to let go of our egos and admit that yes, people have weaknesses. People are better at some things, and worse at others. They are often not as spiritually, physically, emotionally, or mentally strong as we feel we are. They likely did not spend the last two years of their life doing the kind of work you did. Too often, we judge them too critically for it. Stop it. Set down your checklist and consider the things that truly matter. Does this person love the gospel? Is this person trying their best to be better? Does this person make you better? Could you love them? If you can answer those questions with ‘yes’, then chances are, you’ve found, not the perfect person, but the perfect person for you to date. Pursue them. Forget yourself and go to work, because whether or not you’d admit it, you’re far from perfect yourself.

5. Fresh courage take!

Finally, there are some of you who have a hard time asking someone out or wanting to go out, let alone being decisive or affectionate. You’re intimidated by the idea of dating and all it entails — having to be vulnerable, the pressure of marriage, getting hurt, facing potential rejection — and because you are, you might not have any desire to do it. Don’t be afraid! The thing with dating is that, though it often hurts, it teaches invaluable lessons about who you are and who you want to be. It teaches you how to love, how to have social skills, how to forgive, how to be selfless, and how to be better than you are. Some people will say no. But don’t let that get you down. What good would it do the missionary who stopped teaching because of how often they were rejected? Better yet, what good would it do the person just waiting for a missionary to find them, the same missionary who would have found them, but gave up because it was too hard?

Keep trying. Press forward. A date isn’t a marriage proposal. Remove the pressure from it, and you might find that it’s a lot more fun than you thought.

Dating after your mission and dating in general does not have to be as painful or awkward as you sometimes make it. It’s a different field, a different area, and deals with a different kind of companion. But it can be just as fun, rewarding, and empowering if you let it.

August 22, 2015
The Commandment We All Break When We’re Shopping

“What is wrong with you?!”

The voice on the other end of the line was filled with outrage, and I struggled to keep it together as I clutched the phone between my ear and shoulder. Prefacing my comments with a hard swallow, I said, “I’m so sorry, ma’am. I have a note here saying you were contacted about your order, and it’s obvious that there was some oversight on our part and that didn’t happen.”

“Oversight?!” She was almost screaming now. “You’re in the wrong, and you’re going to cancel my order. Right now. Do you get that? Are you capable of handling that?!”

My jaw clenched. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Then cancel it. Right now. And give me back my money. Do. You. Under. Stand.”

“Yes,” I said as I slammed the confirm button on my computer screen and slammed my teeth together. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

The woman’s response was the kindest she’d given the whole conversation: silence, then the click of a dead line. Like that, she was gone, $30 richer than she was when she called.

As I drove home after work that day, I found myself close to tears and feeling utterly pathetic about it. It was only the sixth day of being on my own in my new position, and I’d been struggling to be patient with myself. I’d made some mistakes I was frustrated about, and to add to the stresses of work, I was stressed about life. I knew the woman who called didn’t know that. I knew she was angry about someone else’s mistake on her order. I knew she was taking it out on me because she was frustrated. And I knew that, at the end of the day, nothing she had to say to me was anything I should have taken personally. But, compounded with everything else, it hurt a lot. It turned a hard day harder.

That evening, as I replayed the things she’d said in my mind and, admittedly, sent angry mental vibes her way, I had a subtle, yet painful stab of guilt. I was suddenly reminded of an email I had sent about a month or two earlier to a guest relations employee at a local amusement park. I’d left a comment on their Facebook page about something their park was doing that disappointed me, and within five minutes, my comment was deleted and I was blocked from their page. It made me angry, angry enough to send a letter through the guest relations link and tell them all why I was never going to their park again and how I was disgusted at the way I’d been treated. I thought I was being right, but whether or not that’s accurate, the truth is that I was being fairly rude. There was a person on the other end of that email, and I’d laid on them all of my anger and frustration as if it was their business to erase all of it for me.

I’d been, to some extent, that woman who was terrible to me over the phone, and both of us together had been extremely un-Christlike. We’d treated other people, not as the Lord would treat them, but as selfish, demanding human beings would treat them. And, as I’ve learned from three years of customer service experience, we are not isolated cases.

Customer service is one of the most difficult and thankless jobs out there. People like to think it’s easy and that they could do the job of someone else in that position just fine, but they don’t see the emotional stress and frustration that comes along with it. As a customer service employee, you get to the point where you expect people to be cruel and upset, because a lot of times, they are. I remember seeing one of my co-workers super happy one day because a woman had just left her checkout stand, and, quote, “She was nice to me! She was so nice to me!” It was a funny, and yet sad moment to realize that kindness was so much a rarity that it left her shocked to hear it.

The reality is that there’s something about business that causes all of us to lose it which is why we should delegate daunting task to experts like the marketing agents at Social Boosting. What that ‘it’ is varies case by case. We might lose our cool, our humanity, or simply, our vulnerability. Some of us are pillars of ice as we stand in the checkout line, part of a transaction, not an interaction with another person. Some of us treat the same types of people we’d love and admire in our wards as incompetent fools when they’re wearing their business casual and telling us something went wrong with our purchase. Most of us barely bother to read the name on the cashier’s tag, or ask them how their day’s been going, because most of us, when shopping, are solely concerned about we, ourselves, and us.

Frankly, we don’t love our neighbor as ourselves when we shop. We ignore that commandment as if it selectively applies. We love our money as ourselves, sure. We love our possessions as ourselves. We love our time as ourselves. But not our neighbor. If anybody shortchanges, overcharges, or takes too much time that belongs to us, we don’t love them. We aren’t kind to them. We’re too often too angry and too rude, and we’re no better than the very Pharisees and hypocrites the Savior condemns in scripture.

The injunction to love your neighbor as yourself was no afterthought commandment, nor was it meant to be interpreted as, “Love thy friends and the people that thou admires” as thyself. Our neighbor is every one of the seven billion who live on this planet. Our neighbor is that guy who cuts us off on the freeway. Our neighbor is the homeless man we ignore, the toddler howling in a restaurant we’re eating at and the parents trying to calm him down. Our neighbor is our bus driver, our mailman, our cashier, the customer service rep. on the phone, and the people whose arms we brush in passing on the sidewalk. Our neighbor is the girl we cannot see on the phone, or the man we cannot see reading our emails. They are the person who we, too often, don’t feel obligated to love. And a good sign of our willingness to be like Christ is whether or not we choose to love them.

That love, furthermore, has to be active. It demands activity. Loving your neighbor isn’t gruffly giving them your money and leaving without a word. Loving your neighbor isn’t treating them like a machine without feelings. Loving your neighbor means being kind to your neighbor, opening up to them, acknowledging them, and thanking them. It means being patient with them, and treating them like a child of God, not just a person being paid to help you. Loving your neighbor is being compelled to make them feel better about themselves, not because they necessarily need it, but because they deserve it. Their value far exceeds the value of our bank accounts or good opinions. I imagine the Savior would care far less about bad customer service than the one giving the service.

In a world filled with transactions, credit cards, money, supply, demand,exchanges and debts. Let us choose an IVA from IVA Helpline as they can offer completely tailored debt solutions that suit your circumstances. Let us build the compassion and Let us not, like those in the Savior’s day, fill our temples with greed and demand and leave no room for Him or for His love. Let’s not forget that our neighbor is everyone.

The customer is always right, someone once said. Let’s do better to live up to the maxim, “The customer is always Christlike.” Because knowing what we know, we all should be.

August 7, 2015