Tag: Funny

  • This Pokemon Inspired App is Changing Missionary Work Forever

    This Pokemon Inspired App is Changing Missionary Work Forever

    The makers of the smash hits, FaithChat™ and Angry Mormons™ announced this week the release of Gospel Go™. In similar fashion to the Pokemon-themed game, Gospel Go overlays your physical world with virtual indicators guiding members to locations where they can seek out and catch converts. One of the app’s early beta testers, Matthew Higgins, had this to say, “I used to have to follow the Holy Ghost when looking out for people to share the Gospel with, but with Gospel Go the experience is much more streamlined. I’ve baptized enough converts to start a new branch in the last week alone.” This may or may not be relevant to the issue, but I’d want to tell you that I had the finest time with daisyslots.com, and the slots that I’ve played there are fantastic!

    Gospel-Go-Screenshot-1The app works by drawing on membership records and newly digitized missionary area books to identify areas of usual missionary success. There’s even a section for home and visiting teaching which rewards your virtual missionary with upgrades and extra materials if you spend at least 30 minutes per month in your teachees’ homes. Users who catch converts are directed to the nearest LDS meetinghouse (marked by distinct indicators pulled from LDS Tools) to help their converts progress in their spiritual evolution. Early testers are calling it, “The Liahona for the modern age.”

    Gospel-Go-Screenshot-2The app has been in beta since May, but was released to the public Monday and has since skyrocketed in popularity among church members of all ages. Due to the increasing mania surrounding Gospel Go and reports of app-related trespassing, area presidencies are reminding members to use discretion. Edward Schaefermeyer, a bishop, said, “Just because you find a potential investigator on this app does not mean you can waltz through their yard and into their home. Members need to remember that the missionaries are knocking, and so should they.”

    Schaefermeyer also stressed that traditional member missionary work “works just fine” if members are reluctant to join the Gospel Go craze.

    Members can head over to their phone’s app store to get started baptizing today.

  • 5 Pictures of 2016 Candidates Holding Scriptures That Aren’t Near as Funny as We Thought They’d Be

    5 Pictures of 2016 Candidates Holding Scriptures That Aren’t Near as Funny as We Thought They’d Be

    We’re so sorry about this. We’ll just apologize in advance.

    1.  Hillary Clinton

     

    hillary-clinton

    “This will be hilarious!”, we thought. “A lot of Mormons are Republicans, so they probably don’t like Hillary.” “Digitally placing the scriptures in her hands is homerun humor for sure!” We were so wrong, and we apologize. We realize now that there’s nothing funny about this at all.

     

    2. Bernie Sanders

     

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    I don’t know how we even got this far in our photoshopping before we realized what an idiotic idea this was. I mean what is even happening here?! How would Bernie even get ahold of a cookie sheet-sized copy of the original Book of Mormon? It’s preposterous! But we realized that too late unfortunately. We even toyed with working in some kind of pun about Bernie’s unofficial slogan, “Feel The Bern”, like, “Feel the Bern…ing in your bosom”. It’s a shame we didn’t have the sense to shut that down before it made it off the drawing board.

    3. This guy that kept popping up in our Google searches

     

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    Ok ok, so this isn’t even one of the candidates, but every time we tried to search for pictures of the Book of Mormon to use in this absurd article we kept getting a picture of one of the actors from the Book of Mormon play. You know, that play that makes fun of Mormons. Well we saw him enough times that we decided just to cover him up with a bunch of pictures of the real Book of Mormon. Take that fake missionary man!

    4. Donald Trump

     

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    Now even we had the sense to stop ourselves before we tried photoshopping this one. Can you imagine how that would have looked? Trump is about the furthest candidate from the morals taught in the Book of Mormon. Can anyone say sacrilege? Thankfully we came to our senses before risking eternal condemnation for such a crime. And besides, we fired our graphic designer after that Bernie Sanders atrocity above.

    5. Jeffrey R. Holland

     

    holland

    There we go, that’s better. We didn’t even need to photoshop this one. We just took it straight from his talk, Safety for the Soul. Elder Holland isn’t running for president in 2016, but we wish he was. Can you imagine State of the Union addresses? They’d be some powerful stuff.
    We’re real sorry that we even had this idea in the first place. We won’t do it again.

  • If Millennials Had Been Pioneers

    If Millennials Had Been Pioneers

    What might have been like if millennials had lived during the time of the pioneers? Would they have sang as they walked and walked and posted, tweeted, liked, tagged, shared, and commented on the pioneer trek west? What kind of things would we share? In the spirit of Pioneer Day, enjoy as two time periods collide in #PrairieProbs.


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    Thank heaven for the brave men and women who, without even a Tumblr account, crossed the plains to settle the west. We honor and revere them, but it’s probably a good thing our generation wasn’t asked to brave the wild frontier. I’m sure the pioneers would be glad they don’t have to brave the wild Vine feeds.

    Happy Pioneer Day!