When we asked our writers if anyone wanted to write an advice column, Chris was almost a little bit too willing. With Valentines day just around the corner, we hope you enjoy some Mormon dating advice from a very single man.
I’m interested in dating this guy in my singles ward, but I’m concerned that a relationship with someone in my own ward could go sour and negatively affect my spiritual life. What should I do?
You’re right to be concerned about dating within your own ward. It wouldn’t be the first time that a recently broken-up couple struggles with church attendance to avoid feeling awkward around their ex. You’re much better off looking for dating partners outside of your own ward. I, for the sake of example, am not in your ward, so if you broke it off we could part ways and never speak again, or if things worked out, we could get married and have children and build a life together. You know, if it worked out.
Definitely not in your ward,
My boyfriend recently told me that he’s prayed about it, and thinks we should get married. I don’t feel like I’m ready for that commitment, but I don’t want to disobey the Lord. Should I listen to him?
Ah, this is a classic Mormon move when a relationship starts to get shaky and boyfriends get desperate. Don’t fall for it. Leave the revelation to those with the proper stewardship, and of course, seek your own personal revelation. You’re an independent woman and can make your own decisions about marriage. But just as a spiritual exercise, as you’ve read my reply have you felt any impressions about me? Write me back and let me know. Please.
Anxiously awaiting your response,
I feel emotionally and fiscally ready to begin seriously looking for a man to marry, but I’ve been struggling to get asked on dates. What am I doing wrong?
I know just how your desperation feels. Really, I do. Dating is a fickle game, and sometimes you need to take the initiative and ask guys on dates instead of waiting to be asked. I know it can seem at first that doing so goes against the social norm, but we live in a progressive society where many men hold feminist ideals and are perfectly happy when women ask them on dates. I happen to be one of those progressive men who would be more than happy to have you ask me to go with you to dinner and to the temple and to our wedding and honeymoon and the Celestial Kingdom. I would be flattered.
Several of my friends have recommended that I start using Tinder to find dates, but I’m concerned about the shallow nature of online dating. Is Tinder an acceptable way to find a faithful priesthood holder?
While online dating may not always be an ideal “market’ to find LDS singles, not everyone you meet online is only interested in relationships devoid of commitment and religious activity. Take me, for example, you’ve never met me in person, but if we were to start dating I would certainly hope we could have more than the occasional NCMO. We may be complete strangers, digitally connected only by a few threads of fiber-optic data, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t beat the odds and grow old together. So in short, yes, give your online acquaintances a chance.
Not an Internet creep,
I think I’m being followed. You know that uneasy feeling you get when you know someone’s watching you but you’re not sure from where? I get that everywhere! At the grocery store, when I leave work, even when I’m hanging out with my boyfriend. Occasionally I’ve even returned to my apartment to find boxes of flowers and unsigned love notes sitting on my kitchen counter. I live alone and always lock my doors. Should I go to the police?
In most cases like this I would say yes, definitely go to the police, but something tells me this admirer has only the purest intentions in mind. Who knows, maybe he’s just a lonely advice columnist who doesn’t think that Brad deserves you. If I were you, I would meet this romantic individual at the docks behind that old fishing wharf down on 23rd avenue right when the sun starts to dip below the marina and the water is bathed in that beautiful golden glow. Who knows, maybe he’ll have a ring for you.
Ever thought about a spring wedding?
Do you have a question for Chris? Leave it in the comments below! Happy Valentines day!